I should have put this on here a while ago...but whatev.

This is a word God gave me through prayer the other night. I wrote it down and I feel compelled to share it with you.

Do you want me? Do you really want Christ? Or is it that you just have this false idea of what I am. And that is what you want? Have you been seeking your own agenda while professing to serve me for so long that you don't know if you are serving that image or serving me? Do you just want me for what I can give you - great friends, blessings (hopefully in the form of money), or maybe you just want me to bring you a moral person for a husband? Do you only want Me for what I offer to you? I know you say that is not true. But what does your LIFE say? If you love me, keep my commandments.

Don't I say that if you love me, keep my commandments? I know you like to quote that, but does your life PROVE that you love me? I didn't say "If you love me keep my commandments - but I know you're human so I'm just going to step back and let you work this out." By no means. I am saying, "If you LOVE me KEEP my commandments." Period. I promise I won't test you without giving you a way out. I will not give you anything that I have not equipped you to handle. I am not leaving you to bear this yoke alone. Look up to the hills, to ME, where your help comes from. Cry out to me in your time of adversity and I will come to you. Seek me I will be found by you.

So you choose this day, every day, whom you are going to serve. I will not share the throne of your heart with another. I will not share my throne with YOU. Please, NOW, count the cost of serving me. Weigh the balances. Do you want money, clothes, entertainment, food, friends, material stuff, or love MORE than you want ME? Do you? Really? Is this love for me going to be proven by your life? Don't falsely tell yourself that you love me more and continue to live the same way you are now. The day will come when you will wish you weren't so nice to yourself. When you will sincerely wish that you had not gone easily on yourself and copped out using the excuse, "I'm just human."

PLEASE decide. Please cry out to me to be MY CHILD and REPENT because the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Or at least stop lying to yourself and admit that you do not want to dwell in my kingdom because you are enjoying this earthly kingdom too much to be willing to give it up for my sake. You see, "accepting" me is not saying, "Lord and Savior come into my heart." Accepting ME is when your LIFE says "This world is DEAD to me. All else pales in comparison to following you. I GLADLY relinquish ALL control to YOU my King. I step down off of the throne and throw myself at your feet that you may now be my Lord. I can no longer stand in that place of my life, and once there You have free reign. You may shine light on any area of my heart, mind soul, and life. And then I will lay it on the altar saying, freely, My Lord this is yours. Let me die, O my God, sharing in your sufferings, your pain, that you may live through me." Your LIFE must say to me, "I believe, I have FAITH in your and your power to overcome sin IN THIS LIFE, thereby to live, HOLY, set apart to you and you alone. I seek not to please man, nor myself, but YOU my KING."

Does your life say that you are first and FOREMOST a child of the Kingdom of God? This Kingdom that is here and NOW - not when this mortal body dies, but when I by the Spirit put to death the deeds of the flesh. Or does your life say, "I profess to people that I love God. But I am a child of my earthly parents - humans. I live in the kingdom of THIS earth FIRST. I know what you expect of me through your word - but there are so many good excuses not to live like that. There are so many people in the "church" who don't live by your word, so you can't seriously expect me to. I am going to continue to live in THIS kingdom. And maybe, I will just drop by and visit you sometime when it's convenient. You know how busy I am, "Lord"." Please do not let yourself be so deceived. You either are my child, or you are not. So live according to the calling which I have set before you. I have no left you to do this alone, but I have given you a helper, my spirit. By my divine power I have given you all things pertaining to life and godliness. Therefore, walk in that. Come. You will be my people, and I will be your God. Walk with me. Run with me. Abide in me. Commune with me.

Passages in II Peter 1 and Galatians 5 go with this word.

God also asked me a serious question that I would challenge you to ask yourself as well. Here it is:

"Why do you love me? Jordan, Why? Is it because of my hand?"

My Lord, NO! I LOVE you because you are Holy!! I love you because you require that of me, and do not change your standards - not for me, not for anyone. I love you and I love loving you. I praise you that you have brought me to a place where I can cry out, O God, let me follow you all the days of my life! Grant me to serve you! That is all that I ask. Let me walk with you. Where you go, I will go. Let your people be my people. Let me continually share in your death that I may thereby live with you for all my days. This work you are doing in me, may it never cease. May I not draw one more breath unless you are in it. You, my God, YOU are my everything!

The amazingness that is my God!

Wow! That is pretty much all I can say about what God is doing in me these days. He is blowing my mind! We started a new house church, and God has been very faithful in that, and I praise Him for it. The other week Jeremy brought the book of Colossians 2 to share. I have been stuck in Colossians ever since and I have really been looking over it and seeing where I can apply it to my life. The heading of chapter 2 is "Not Philosophy but Christ". I like that. It brings me back to a quote by Corrie Ten Boom ~ We do not bring people to a faith, a religion, or a doctrine, but to a person, Jesus Christ.

6 As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him,

7 rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.

8 Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.

9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily;

10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

God has been showing me where I have indeed been cheated through philosophy and empty deceit according to the tradition of men. He has been rooting these things out of me and replacing the principals of the world that have deceived me with the truthful principals of Christ. He is showing me where my life does not line up with His word. I do not want to mis-represent Christ. He honors His Word above His name, and I am to be a representation of Him name in the earth, therefore I MUST be rooted and built up in Him, firmly established in the faith. I am complete IN HIM, which means that I MUST remain in Him. Daily WALKING in His Spirit, dwelling in His Spirit! As He has been showing me this I have found myself praying in His Spirit more that I have in quite some time...needless to say, its been amazing.

He didn't stop with ripping the selfish-me-centered doctrine from my heart, but went on to light a flame under one of the most intense relationships I have...the relationship I share with my sister. He has seriously challenged things I attribute to my personality, but really contradict the person He is calling me to be and need to change. It has been a very tear-filled process, but one I pray that He will get much Glory from in my death (because that is what it is, my dying to self that He may be made alive in me).

But in all of this He is SO faithful. I have found more of Him in step, around every corner, with every breath than seems humanly possible. It is an honor for me to prove my love for Him through obedience to His commands( John 14:15).

Where do I begin???

16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ:
for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one
that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.
17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written,The just shall live by faith.
18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all
ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in
unrighteousness;
19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in
them; for God hath shewed [it] unto them.

OK, I am not the best blogger, I kinda type how I talk, so you all will just have to bear with me.

So, yeah...I can't even begin to explain how much this sums up what God is doing in me, and really I could go through the whole chapter...like really!! Yeah, it's kinda exploding in me, but in really calm, sublte ways if that makes any sense.


Verse 16 talks about not being ashamed of the Gospel of Christ for it is the power of God unto salvation. Do I really get that? Do my actions prove that I get that? Am I daily living in a manner that would portray to the world that I am not ashamed of the Gospel? Because that is what being a "Christian" is. The Gospel is not something I accept, it is not just what I believe, but rather it is that belief put into action. 2 Peter 1 talks about this:

3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and Godliness through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.
4 by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

So now, having the divine power of God (how amazing is that) I must live in Godliness. Live Righteously. And not only have faith, but rather move on from faith to faith! If I chose not to live in righteousness, and instead in unrighteousness and ungodliness then the wrath of God is revealed to me because by my unrighteousness I am supressing the truth. I am holding to myself that which I should freely give. To be frank, I see this in my life. I can see where I have supressed the truth, where I have held it to myself and I am SO grateful the God has revealed his wrath to me that I may repent and move on, increasing in my faith and knowledge of God (2 Peter 1:5-9). If you read on in Romans it talks about those who "claim to be wise, but who have become fools" and I thank God that He has revealed to me my own heart on this matter. And thank Him all the more for His grace and mercies that allow me to give up these ungodly behaviors and acknowlegde Him.

Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with
knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness,
and steadfastness with Godliness and Godliness with brotherly affection, and
brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are
increasing they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the
knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ~2 Peter 1: 5-9

For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let
steadfastness have its full work effect, that you may be perfect and complete,
lacking in nothing. ~James 1:3-4

And as a finale a little Sara Groves:

God is doing a work in me
He’s walking through my rooms and halls
Checking every corner
Tearing down the unsafe walls
And letting in the light
And I am working hard
To clean my house and set it straight
Not let pride get in the way
To catch an eternal vision of
What I am to become
Will you help me be new
Will you hold me to the promises
That I have made
Will you let me be new
Forgive my old self, and my old mistakes
It seems easier
Living out my life in Christ
For those do not know it
To hide the thorn stuck in my side
And all my secret faults
But you know me well
And it’s you I want the most to see
And recognize the changes
A word from you empowers me
To press on for my goal
Will you help me be new
Will you hold me to the promises
That I have made
Will you let me be new
Forgive my old self, and my old mistakes
When I feel condemned to live my old life
Remind me I’ve been given a new life in Christ
Will you help me be new
Will you hold me to the promises
That I have made
Will you let me be new
Forgive my old self, and my old mistakes
Will you
You know me well
I just thought I would share.

I have a ton of energy right now

I am so incredibly excited that it is now springtime and a weekend!!! Things have been oh so crazy for oh so long, that I think crazy is becoming normal so it doesn't feel crazy any more. I dropped my physics class, which is one less thing for me to freak about, and frees up a boat load of time for me to study! Whoo-hoo for more study time! Kinda, because that now means that I actually have to fill that time with studying.

Lets make a list:

1. My crazy avocado paper got turned in today. Finally!!! I only started it, what, 8 WEEKS ago!!But I really like that class:

a) because the topics of conversation are HILARIOUS!

b) my classmates are super fun in general

c) it is cancelled A LOT

d) the slow pace is a reprieve from my other fast paced classes.

2. I am starting an argument paper and picking the topic is hard because there are so many good topics that I can't seem to pick.

3. There are only 2 months left in the semester!! Crazy!! Yet awesome all at the same time!

4. I have been spending some time thinking this week about how much of a self talker I am. Really. It seems like ALL DAY long I am constantly talking myself into and out of doing things. I have talked myself into lunch, studying, sleeping, "napping", reading a book in class despite being rude", not reading a book in class because it would be rude", and so many more things that I couldn't begin to list.

5. I want to go to next weeks baseball game. I think I have more school spirit for non-football sports than for football. Not that I don't have school spirit for football, just more for other things.

6. I am listening to Bekah sing rather off key while she is "tanning" in my parents backyard. I say tanning like that because it is really burning, she just doesn't want to believe that.

7. Bekah and I are at my parents house tonight because our AC is broken. She had wanted to stay here anyway, but I wanted to wait and just come over here in the morning. She got her way by default.

8. I read Utopia by Thomas More just because I saw it in the bookstore, and it had a pretty cover, and it was mentioned in Ever After which is a movie that I like very much. That was one of the things I self-talked myself into buying, then reading instead of studying, then possibly using to further my argument for prohibition of alcohol in my argument paper. I have since self-talked myself out of using that as a topic due to the lack of current media on the topic.)

9. I love, love, love pickles. Dill pickles that is. Cindy got me some. She is awesome. Sometimes I think I cohabitate (is that the right word? Is that a word at all actually) better with her than I do with Bekah.

10. A sister is a really great thing to have. I miss all of mine.

11. I am really enjoying where I am at in life right now. Though I am constantly thinking about things I need to do that would make where I am at more productive for myself in the long run, I need to do those things.

12. I am taking the MCAT in the fall. Just for practice, I'm sure I will take it again. Yay for med-school entrance exams.

13. Some goofy person on Greenwell Springs Road (the same road that I live on) paid $20 for me to ship them a stupid diploma frame rather than just drive to LSU and pick one up. I was quite frustrated with them earlier this week because it was quite the hassle. If it were not rude and unprofessional I would write them a letter informing them of their utter stupidity regarding this matter.

14. I am bored with this now. So I am going to stop and go back to browsing el interneto.

So how am I going to get a 5 page paper out of this:

Hmm...and I want to go down there for April?

Fox News:


Soldiers stand guard around a presentation of arms captured in arrest of Jaime Gonzalez Duran, alias 'El Hummer' in Mexico City in November, 2008.

They were armed to the teeth. Their arsenal ranged
from semi-automatic rifles to rocket-propelled grenades. When the smoke finally
cleared and the government had prevailed, Mexican federal agents captured 540
assault rifles, more than 500,000 rounds of ammunition, 150 grenades, 14
cartridges of dynamite, 98 fragmentation grenades, 67 bulletproof vests, seven
Barrett .50-caliber sniper rifles and a Light Anti Tank (LAW) rocket.

CBS: Mexican Drug Gang Goes On Killing Spree

A drug gang kidnapped and
killed six people near a town in the U.S.-Mexican border region Tuesday,
prompting a series of gunbattles with soldiers that left 15 others dead. The
violence started when gunmen kidnapped nine alleged members of a rival drug gang
in Villa Ahumada and later executed six of them along the PanAmerican highway
outside of the town, 80 miles south of Ciudad Juarez, across the border from El
Paso, Texas, said Enrique Torres, spokesman for a joint military-police
operation in Chihuahua state. Assailants later released three of the men,
although their whereabouts was not immediately known, Torres said. Soldiers
later caught up with the gunmen and a series of shootouts ensued, leaving 14
alleged gunmen and one soldier dead Tuesday, Torres said. Another soldier was
wounded. Mexico's has been besieged by drug violence amid a two-year government
crackdown. President Felipe Calderon said Monday that more than 6,000 people
have died in drug-related violence. Villa Ahumada, a town of 1,500 people, was
virtually taken over by drug gangs last year when gangs killed two consecutive
police chiefs, and two officers. The rest of the 20-member force resigned in
fear, forcing the Mexican military to take over for months until the town was
able to recruit new officers. The town's mayor, Fidel Chavez, fled to the state
capital for his own safety.

Times: Mexican Man Admits Using Acid on Bodies, Army Says

MEXICO CITY — Pozole is a popular Mexican stew that can feature
pork, hominy and an array of vegetables and seasonings. But the name of the
delicacy has taken on a sinister new meaning: Mexican authorities have detained
a man linked to hundreds of deaths in the drug war who is being called the
Pozole Maker.
The man, Santiago Meza López, known as “el Pozolero” in the
Mexican news media, has confessed to dissolving the remains of 300 people in
acid while working for a top drug trafficker, the Mexican Army said Friday.
Dissolving bodies is gaining increasing popularity in the internecine killings
between rival traffickers that is playing out here, and the practice has become
known as making pozole (pronounced poh-ZOH-leh).
Mr. Meza, 45, confessed to
receiving $600 a week to dispose of bodies for Teodoro García Simental, a drug
kingpin who broke with the Tijuana-based Arellano Félix cartel and is said to be
at war with Fernando Sánchez Arellano, his former boss, the authorities said.
Soldiers and police officers paraded Mr. Meza before reporters on Friday in
a remote area on the outskirts of Tijuana, where he was accused of dumping
bodies into pits over the last decade, pouring acid on them and letting them
dissolve underground.
Mr. Meza admitted as much as the authorities
surrounded him and ordered him to speak up to the press. “I ask for forgiveness
from the families of these people,” he said, according to the newspaper Reforma.
In September, the police found three barrels of acid containing human
remains outside a seafood restaurant with a note attached that said, “We’re
going to make pozole” of those who work with the engineer, a reference to Mr.
Sánchez Arellano’s nickname.
The authorities suspect that Mr. García is
behind those killings and others in which mutilated bodies have turned up on
Tijuana’s streets. The military nearly arrested Mr. García on Thursday,
officials said.

I think I will be praying quite earnestly about this trip!

It is quite pathetic. I know.

I don't even think there are words to express how far past "long overdue" for a post I am.

Quick update:

I am entering the 5th week of my 4th semester at LSU.
I switched my major to Kinesiology: Human Movement Science -physical therapy pretty much.
I love living in an apt with my sister.
I think I may go to Mexico with the BCM over spring break (tentatively- Cindy says that they are shooting up all the white people down there).
I have 3 tests this week so this will be a short post.


Something timely:

This past weekend has been so refereshing and brought me such a peace. I don't really know what to say other than God is doing a mighty work in my heart that is producing a change in my actions and outlook.

Isaiah 54: 4-8 kind of sums it up ( it is talking about God's covenant of peace)

4"Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be
disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of
your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
5 For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is
His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of
the whole earth.
6 For the LORD has called you Like a woman
forsaken and grieved in spirit, Like a youthful wife when you were refused,"
Says your God.
7 "For a mere moment I have forsaken you, But with
great mercies I will gather you.
8 With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a
moment; But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you," Says the LORD,
your Redeemer."