Was it really wise for me to graduate this year? I question this myself at times as well...And in all honesty I am not sure that I know the answer. This year my view has changed on a lot of things, and for the past few days I simply relished being young, being 16, and being in high school. I enjoyed being able to be hyper, and still get away with it. I enjoyed relaxing, and not worrying about tomorrow. I enjoyed time, without thinking of the consequences of wasting it. Yet then, I had to take up my responsibilities again on Monday, and trudge through the rest of the week. Would I have had to do that if I were a junior? Maybe not, however, if I were a junior I may not have gotten some of the opportunities that I now enjoy. Were I a junior I would have to decide whether or not to go to Central next year, but then again, being a Senior this year has put me in some undeniably God given places. I have had the chance to expand my sphere of influence, to speak light and truth. Some people may not have been in the same classes as me, people who have taught me discretion in so many ways, and I am grateful that God gave me that gift. I am not sure which weighs heavier, the pros or the cons, but as of right now, if this is where God would have me, then I am content to walk where he leads.
This is where Laurens blog comes in. As a result of graduating this year, the time I have been given seems to FLY by (more like go by at the speed of light), and that leaves little time for my friends and family. This bothers me more than I may let on, but I have not forgotten people, and I still love and pray for them always, I just may not get to talk to them for weeks at a time. So have I been a good friend? I think according to my actions probably not, God is certainly showing me where my priorities lie, and whether it seems like it or not, they lie in relationships with you all. I simply can't spend time with you all to show you. I pray for you SO much more that you could know, I love every one of my friends so much, and I am SO grateful that God sees fit for me to be in this group. Yet I owe an apology to you all as well, for not making the extra effort to get to know you better, or simply to share what God has shown me for the week. There is no real excuse for the laziness I have shown in my relationships, and for that I am greatly sorry. God has opened my eyes to see where I MUST change some things. Right now I am figuring out my juggling act, and you all are on the top to the list. In about 50 something days High School will be over, in Gods timing I pray that I get to take up the slack in every relationship that God has put me in.
The changes God is developing in me only make me love you all more.
I don't think you've been lazy in your relationships. Maybe I just don't see it from your side. I know it's hard for you right now with so much on your plate. But that's just the thing: you have so much on your plate. You have no idea how much it's ministered to me to watch you take on so much and to do it with such grace. You may not see it but God's grace is all over you right now. And to see the drive he's put in your heart put into action is a real testimony. One that you may not even see or be able to share for years to come. But it's still awesome. Keep striving. God has perfect timing and a perfect measure of grace and peace for you.
ReplyDeleteJordan I think you're a GREAT friend . I just don't get to see you alot
ReplyDeleteAmen to Bj's.
ReplyDeleteI also don't think you have been lazy in your relationships. The fact that you are striving to fit it all in is a true testimony of where your heart lies. There truly are ONLY 24 hours in the day ,Jordan. Just don't think that you are falling short if you can't spend X amount of hours with your church famiy. God HAS placed you in unique situations and around other people (at school, at work, etc) for a reason. Don't worry about not being "here" when you are over "there" with other people. God does direct the steps of the righteous and I know that he has most certainly been directing yours. Just rely on God's help to take it all in wherever you are and just be a little Jesus there. :D I love you girl and do, of course, miss seeing you! All I can say is God has some scary-big plans for your life. Just keep following where he leads. :D Love Ya! May the peace of God which far surpasses all understanding guard your heart and mind.