I am sick of false humility.

Over the past few days I have really been able to evaluate a lot of things in and around my life. I say I hate sin. Could that be true? I think I hate only some sins, because if I truly hated all sin, I don't think I could continue falling back to old sinful habits. I do know for sure that any sin separates me from God, it may be that I hate the separation, more than the sin itself. Then he says "If you love me, keep my commandments." Do I love Him? Not according to my actions.

I don't want to come before God with a false humility, so I simply put off doing anything about it. I don't ask Jesus to give me true repentance, and true humility. I know that is what I have to do, but doing it is the hard part. That means I have to be willing to lay down my flesh, and say God YOU do with me as YOU see fit. YOU take out what is not pleasing to YOU, Put in only what is glorifying to YOU. That means no more of me. I think that is where the false humility comes from. I want to live for my flesh, but with the "benefits" of walking with God, and do you know what that is...Humanism. Using God as a means to an end. Wow, I never thought I would say that, but that is what it is. It is no lover about what God wants, but what Jordan wants. So now as Paris Reidhead would say, "it is time for me to get out of the drivers seat, and hand the keys over to God, climb in the trunk, close the hood, and whisper through the key hole, 'Here, you take the keys, go wherever you want to go, and do whatever you want to do, I am in your hands now' and that is true humility" That is saying that I understand my flesh, and I want no part in it, so to protect myself from myself, I put my flesh in a place where it will have no control of what God would have me do.


Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. *Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4 *Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, "The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously"?
6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:


"God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble."*


7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
~James 4:1-10