I am just putting this on here so that I will have access to it at school. Don't read it, it is a dumb report.

Jordan Ward
October 2, 2006
5th hour

The Lamest Story You Have Ever Read About Quarks



Whhoooaaa…it’s fuzzy…ok, that’s better. So, lets see, I was in the lab, and now I don’t know where I am. I heard the freak behind me saying some chant like “ turn-y him-y into-y ay-ay quark-y.” I always knew there was something odd about him. So here I am, in the world of quarks. It is not like you would imagine. You know how when you go to a theme park you are in awe at the height and speed of the roller coasters? Well here, you are in a world of roller coasters. You just hop on an electron path, and you’re off. The rides here are faster than ever though; everyone thinks the light speed is fast, wait ‘til you hop on one of these bad boys. You don’t just stop when you jump off either, you are still traveling at the speed of the electrons, you simply stopped traveling in their path, and so it takes a few seconds to fully slow down.
Other than the unending roller coaster rides, there is not much to see. It’s all kind of blurry, with a few light spots. I get a few glimpses of the nucleus sometime, but not often. The thing that gets me is that I don’t even know what kind of element I am in. For all I know I could be helping to compose a pile of dog poo. Or I could be on my way to blow up a town in Iraq. I wonder if I will ever get back. Hey, look, whatever I’m in just formed a molecular compound. We have another electron my friends. That gives me a hint as to what kind of element I was in. I must have been on the left hand side of the periodic table because I needed the other electron to help make me stable. I wonder if I will ever get back to normal life, you know with cheeseburgers, and gravity. The first thing I will do when and if I ever do get home will be to have a snickers bar. That must be the greatest ionic compound of chocolate on the earth. Wait, I hear a buzzing noise, what in the world…it’s fuzzy again. I am in my bed, full size. I can see things, earth!!! Could that have been a dream? Naaa, it couldn’t have been real. I guess I have to go to work.
My goodness that kid is weird. I am just gonna’ have a peak. No, it couldn’t be, “ turn-y him-y into-y ay-ay quark-y.”

The End