This is where I am right now:

6 Seek the Lord while He may be found,
Call upon Him while He is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way,
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
Let him return to the Lord,
And He will have mercy on him;
And to our God,
For He will abundantly pardon.
8 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.
9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.




I really love everything about this right now. I know that God is breaking me, and this is His call. It is SO comforting to knot that "His thoughts are not my thoughts, nor His ways my ways!"

For school...

BJ, what typeface is "Arsenic and Old Lace" written in?

Your word is a lamp unto my feet...

So I am not sure that there are words to explain what is happening in my life just now. I see things through tinted window it seems. I cannot see the big picture, only a few moments at a time, for what each moment holds, and how it either furthers my walk of hinders it. I see what is to the left and to the right of my path, and then myself stopping, looking, contemplating. Then I keep on walking, a slow gait, trudging along, with only a dim light. I see when I do stop, and actually take a step off of the path, that while off I cannot see what is happening in the light of the path, yet I know that things are happening. I see myself get back on the path and take one more step, then stop, another step, then stop, as a bride walking down the asile. Where the path leads I cannot see, the road not yet traveled is a mystery. However everything behind me is very clear, and vivid, holding both horrors, and love. I am reminded of the comming out of Egypt, and though out, I still am charged with the respnsibility of getting the Egypt out of me. God makes the path out, He provides the way. The responsibility of getting out, and removing of it is left to me. It holds both joy and suffering, pain and comfort, peace and war. I am simply walking. Looking for something. The question I ask myself, is am I trying to find my life? If so I know that I must loose my life in order to find it. Or am I looking for Gods will? If so than I must be content to walk where He would lead. Why am I walking and not running, or am I walking in the wrong direction, did I get off of the right path somewhere? I am not sure...I don't know where to start to correct anything. The Word sounds like a good place for now. That is all I know. It is true.

Picture this...

12 teenagers running McDonald's durring a rush, because the manager on duty quit. CRAZY, CRAZY day. I have 50 billion pounds of homework, so I will have to post later. I get to read the Mayor of Casterbridge for a report though, which is awesome, I haven't gotten to read a book for leisure all year, and I am making this count, since I like the story.

Enough for now.

His grace is sufficient. I cannot explain the work that God is doing in me, and has done in me in just the last hour. I cannot thank him enough.His word is a lamp unto my feet. I am no longer conformed to the patterns of this world, but transformed by the renewing of my mind. This past week has been the hardest I have walked through in a long long long time, God has brought me to the revelation that I was blaming my sins on the devil, rather than on me, the one who acted on them in my flesh, but His mercy and His kindness has opened the eyes of my understanding. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, and I am SO SO SO So greatful for the work that He has begun in me, and I am resting in the fact the He will bring it into completion.

ACT

I take the ACT tomorrow. I haven't studied. I am taking it in april too, hopefully I will have gotten to study before then. Ok, well I have to go to work now. I will see everybody tomorrow at the sweetheart banquet.

In response to a lot of questions that I am sure have been posed, and to Laurens blog...

Was it really wise for me to graduate this year? I question this myself at times as well...And in all honesty I am not sure that I know the answer. This year my view has changed on a lot of things, and for the past few days I simply relished being young, being 16, and being in high school. I enjoyed being able to be hyper, and still get away with it. I enjoyed relaxing, and not worrying about tomorrow. I enjoyed time, without thinking of the consequences of wasting it. Yet then, I had to take up my responsibilities again on Monday, and trudge through the rest of the week. Would I have had to do that if I were a junior? Maybe not, however, if I were a junior I may not have gotten some of the opportunities that I now enjoy. Were I a junior I would have to decide whether or not to go to Central next year, but then again, being a Senior this year has put me in some undeniably God given places. I have had the chance to expand my sphere of influence, to speak light and truth. Some people may not have been in the same classes as me, people who have taught me discretion in so many ways, and I am grateful that God gave me that gift. I am not sure which weighs heavier, the pros or the cons, but as of right now, if this is where God would have me, then I am content to walk where he leads.


This is where Laurens blog comes in. As a result of graduating this year, the time I have been given seems to FLY by (more like go by at the speed of light), and that leaves little time for my friends and family. This bothers me more than I may let on, but I have not forgotten people, and I still love and pray for them always, I just may not get to talk to them for weeks at a time. So have I been a good friend? I think according to my actions probably not, God is certainly showing me where my priorities lie, and whether it seems like it or not, they lie in relationships with you all. I simply can't spend time with you all to show you. I pray for you SO much more that you could know, I love every one of my friends so much, and I am SO grateful that God sees fit for me to be in this group. Yet I owe an apology to you all as well, for not making the extra effort to get to know you better, or simply to share what God has shown me for the week. There is no real excuse for the laziness I have shown in my relationships, and for that I am greatly sorry. God has opened my eyes to see where I MUST change some things. Right now I am figuring out my juggling act, and you all are on the top to the list. In about 50 something days High School will be over, in Gods timing I pray that I get to take up the slack in every relationship that God has put me in.

The changes God is developing in me only make me love you all more.

I was really hyper today...

-Lauren is getting her hair done tomorrow ar 4:45.
-I got a neat journal.
-We played a modified version of hide and seek at Barnes and Noble.
-I like seeing people I know in Walmart.
-God has put a burden on my heart for some girls at my school.
-I take the ACT Saturday.
-I turn in 4 English lessons Saturday when I go to LSU to take another test.
-I need people to pray that Gods will be done with my getting into LSU.
-I just saw "miricle max" saw that he was only " mostly dead"- I love this movie.
-Don't read this one Deanna- I have 60 days left of school.
-I can't wait for summer.
-I don't like CPS preps who spent three hours at McDonald's only to syran wrap the potty so that it splashes every where when someone goes tee-tee.
-My weekend is going great.
-I really like my co-workers.
-I wish I had time to read a good book.
-Dream girls was a dumb movie...it was like STOP SINGING ALREADY.
-I want to go shoe shopping tomorrow.
-I can't wait for fried fish tomorrow.
-I am tired, but don't feel like going to bed.
-I don't like Valentine's events at high school.
-I have resolved myself to the fact that my face will not clear up until after school.
-I am kinda excited about getting new glasses.
-This is borring now, so I am going to bed.

tgif or saturday!!!

I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!! I GET TO GO TO BARNES AND NOBLES WITH SOME OF MY FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL MAYBE. AAAAHHHHH.....WHHHHHHOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO.....YYYYIIIIIIIPPPPPIIIIIIEEEEE.....IT'S SATURDAY.....NO SCHOOL UNTIL MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND A TRIP TO THE BOOKSTORE, THIS IS SO MUCH FUN I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. we should play nertz soon. i served a deaf person at work, I felt kinda bad because i kept talKing to him, i guess if forgot, over and over again, for five minutes. but OH WELL!!!!!bye